A THERAPIST-PARENT’S PERSPECTIVE
A holler to any therapists out there, who like me, close sessions off with a nice list of activities that could be carried over from the therapeutic environment into the home.
This, of course, is done with the best intentions. I just so desperately want to make sure that the work continues beyond the session, so that the targeted skills are achieved and generalised. My mind rushes through the session’s targets; my brain whips up a whole list of activities one could consider carrying out at home; my mouth blurts out one idea after the next, in a desperate attempt to pass on an idea that sticks with the parent in front of me. If at least one activity sticks, that’s gold. I’m fully aware of the slightly overwhelmed stare or the disconnected look on the other end. But I push on, in the hope that something sticks.
Small side-line.
Last October my husband and myself welcomed 2 boys into our home. Any of you watched Instant Family? That’s exactly what it was. In an matter of a few weeks we were inundated with appointments. These appointments increased as the boys started to settle, and along came a whole new set of challenges that needed to be addressed by professionals. A few months down the line and we had multiple appointments lined up for each child weekly. In the midst of this all we were struggling with the ins-and-outs of our day-to-day routine. Every day felt like a race against the clock. Getting through what I perceived to be the bare minimum, everyday, was turning into a real feat. Add all the therapist’s very well-intended recommendations on top of that.
Cue the guilt around all the recommendations that came and the lack of follow-through from our end. A week or so passes by, we’re concluding our next session, and all that was seemingly doable during the previous session has still not been done. Add a couple more recommendations on to that to follow up on today’s targets.
Image credit: Unsplash.
This experience has really informed my practice more recently; and I feel compelled to share some of my own thoughts and reflections with the therapeutic community.
Take a genuine interest in the family’s routine. Ask the family to fill in a timetable early on in the intervention process so that you understand who is doing what and when.
Involve other key members of the family. If you’ve collected data about the family’s routine you will be able to identify when different family members are spending time with the child.
Think of embedding recommendations into family’s existing routines rather than expecting that families “make time” for things you deem important.
Schedule discussion-based sessions for the family to attend. Indirect intervention is highly under-rated.
Check in with your client’s family. Is there another issue that is currently consuming their time and energy? Sensitivity towards these moments is key. Families might need you to press a pause button until they have recalibrated and are able to pick up the pace again.
Help your client’s families forgive themselves by entering the space judgement-free. Encourage families to forgive themselves for their shortcomings.
There’s a bunch of evidence out there about family-centred or parent-centred intervention. I am one for more eclectic approaches, however brushing up on these approaches every once in a while remind me of helpful strategies that could be used with families.